I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize