Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
