she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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