i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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