We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
