I heard we made out
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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