Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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