Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
