how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
