just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
These tits shall not be calmed
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
