All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
