dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
