addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
