If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
