I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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