ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
