It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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