i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize