I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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