I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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