This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
