I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
