Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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