I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
