I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
