No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
