i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Girls should come with a carfax report
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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