saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
