so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
