Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
