I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I FOUND THE LEGS
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
