She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
