i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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