She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
