so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize