HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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