singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
