shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
