i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
