best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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