If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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