Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
