Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
