I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
