Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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