Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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