I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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