You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my shit smells like andre
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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