So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
3 2 1 whiskey
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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