1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
