He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize