I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
