is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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