Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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