walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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