Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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