Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
tequila makes me forget i have legs
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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