i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
There are leaves in my underwear?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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