I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
