Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
