You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
