I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
