So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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