They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Farmville is her only friend.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
