Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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